My Dear Father:¹

We are taking a few days rest here. It is restful to be here, but we did not really come to rest. The Seoul-Chemulpo railroad was completed a few days ago, the first train running on Sunday July 8th.² You remember the road was begun several years ago by an American company but fearing there might not be money in it, sold it to the Japanese before it was finished. When I arrived last March³ it was completed as far as the river. We had to take a ride across the sands in hand cars, pushed by coolies. This took about an hour, and then we were ferried across the river. Sometimes we were so unfortunate as to reach the river after the tide was out and had to be carried to the little row boat on the back of a coolie. A most humiliating experience! On the other side of the river we took the Electrics, & had a three mile ride into the city. This was a fine way of travelling compared with our day’s journey over land in a chair, but now we feel more civilized that we can go all the way to Chemulpo in the cars. You may not think 27 miles in two hours is very rapid travail but you have never lived in the East where things move slowly.

Monday soon found quite a party of us on the train. The crowd at the depot and the lemonade stands made one think a circus had come to town, but the people had only gathered to “see the wheels go round.” We came down to be here when the “Genkai” would come in from China thinking some of our friends might be on board. Then Dr. Cutler starts today for America & Dr. Harris takes another steamer for Pyeng Yang where she will spend her vacation with her sister, Mrs. Follwell.⁴

Yesterday we went out to see Mr. & Mrs. Jones who live here, & Mr. & Mrs. Appenzeller who have a summer house here. We were invited to take dinner with Mrs. Allen. Dr. Allen (our Am. minister) has a beautiful brick summer Page 179 →residence overlooking the sea. It is furnished so nicely in American style—nothing to make you think you are in a heathen country.

I presume you are interested in the “China trouble”⁵—Dr. Allen was telling us about Mr. Colburn’s experiences. He is one of the men sent here to build the electric road. He was in Tientsin (China) and hearing of the trouble he asked Admiral Seymour⁶ if it was safe to go on to Peking. He replied “My dear man, go when you want to, and stay as long as you want to stay.” He added, “This will soon blow over.”—So Mr. Colburn went. He told the hotel proprietor that he had only a day to stay and wanted to see the most interesting things. The man said “You will not go out of this hotel; it is not safe. Ask your minister if you do not believe me.” He thought then it was best to go. While he was waiting for the train, some foreigners came up to him and said, “What are you here for, don’t you hear what these people are saying?”

“No, I don’t understand Chinese,” he replied. “They say they are going to kill you. We have our wives in the upstairs room but there is no train to take us away in.” Mr. Colburn, being a railway man said, “If you will interpret for me I’ll see what I can do.”

So by bribes he got the Chinese engineer to start with them in the already steaming engine. The excuse was that a bridge was burned down a few miles ahead, but when they came to it they found all around burned but the steel bridge still there so they safely crossed. A little farther on they found hundreds of dead Chinese. The Chinese Engineer was so frightened that he left them and Mr. Colburn with the help of the fire man who stayed by them took them safely to Tientsin. This was the last train out of Peking. No authentic word has been received from the foreigners shut up in Peking since the 18th of June.

Our North China Mission⁷ was just having its annual conference in Peking and the city was full of foreigners of all nations. The American Board⁸ were having their annual meeting also at that time. The last we know of them the missionaries and 600 native Christians were in our M.E. Church which they had fortified as best they could by placing sand bags around and making holes to put their guns through the walls. If they have not been killed, they have been starved out I fear by this time. Many families are separated, for the men all went up to Conference while in some cases the wives stayed in their homes.

We went out on the “Genkai” when she came in yesterday. There were two families who belong to the Pres[byterian] Board going to Seoul and Dr. Page 180 →& Mrs. Hopkins of our mission on their way to Japan and many others from other boards. There are already two families of refugees in Seoul and two down here in Chemulpo. These left with only such things as they could pick up in a moment and are most destitute for clothing. Isn’t it all terrible?

A letter just received from Mother. I hope you are not worried about me, for we are very safe here. Japanese troops are being sent to the north to keep the Chinese from overrunning our little country.

We go back to Seoul this afternoon. We hope to get Dr. Cutler off at 3 o’clock. She is very tired and nervous. Five years is quite long enough to be away from one’s native soil. She has stayed too long.

We are going out to the boat now to say goodbye. We must get back by four o’clock so as to catch our train. We have our flock and our new building to see to. Three days away at a time is all we can risk. We may have to have much of the work undone as it is.

I’ve waited a long time for a letter from you. When is it coming?⁹

Your loving daughter,

Lulu E. Frey

Dear Mother:

Our steamers are so very irregular now that mails both going & coming are delayed. Mr. & Mrs. Appenzeller got off last week but they had to go second class on a very small steamer. There is a large party waiting to go to China, expected to get off today but the steamer broke down in Nagasaki & is not coming. We think our mail is on her.

Miss Paine has gone down to meet Esther Pak¹⁰ who comes across from Kobe. If the mail did not get started on the other steamer it may be on this one. We expect Esther to be with us a few days before going on to Pyeng Yang. You see Mrs. Hall took her to America & saw her through medical school so has first claim to her.

I’ll tell you all about her in my next letter.—This letter I am hastening off to send you the enclosed order for $50.00—I promised to send you my balance on the money I advanced on our goods from America, but I expected to be able to get my money back long ago. Now the invoice is lost it will be a long time before I can make out the bills. Yesterday was pay day and my 4th Quarter’s salary came $50.00 of which I send you on the painter’s bill. I hope this Page 181 →with the balance you have after paying your debt may be enough for the house painting—

I keep hoping every letter you will send me a statement of how the money is used so I’ll know how I stand—Is it not fair?

Dear Mother:

This page I write for your eye: The letter I had ready to post yesterday has in it an order for fifty dollars—only a drop in the bucket compared to what I know you must need. This reason makes me wish you had cabled me, yet it would have cost you more than the inconvenience of waiting. I think the $100.00 which I sent you must have reached you about that time.—I am so thankful I am in a position to help you and Georgia. I could do it better if I were getting the same amount and we were living together, but I am sure with economy here and at home we can live, save our house and perhaps in time build a nice little home for you and Georgia and rent the big house. But that is future—cannot be thought of before the old house is free from debt and Georgia is in a position to help me.

In the meantime cannot you do as I planned for you, rent the west half of the house? As I planned it, three doors cut will be sufficient the double ones between parlor & library. Use father’s bedroom for the Kitchen and cut a door into the pantry. The third one an outside door to the pantry, but if you use the side porch door for a back door that need not be done. The doors cut would not spoil the house for a whole house.

In my letter yesterday I asked for a statement—What I want to know is what your expenses are so I can send you enough to cover them provided I have enough. We will manage it some way. Reckon fuel bill, gas, loan, taxes & living expenses for a year and then I’ll send you what I can quarterly. I have heard that Stewart¹¹ has an invoice of our last goods so I can soon find out how I stand financially and will send you more in my next letter—Be clear and definite to me what your needs are and I will be so glad to send you money from time to time—.

May God keep you in health and strength for Georgia’s sake and mine.

With a heart full of love—

Your daughter—

Lulu E. Frey

Dear Mother:

How it would comfort me this morning if I could know how you and Geo. are and what you are doing. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep since the news of Father’s death reached me. I am not troubled about him. It is only a matter of time till we shall all be with him—but of you and Georgia alone I continually think. It worried me too that I knew the next letter you would have received was the one I wrote concerning money matters. How could I foresee that you would receive it in such a time of sadness? I do hope you have felt free to use the money as you have needed it most. Some day we will be clear and all will be going well I am sure. As long as you live I want you to have a home to live in. That is why I am anxious for us to keep out of debt to spare the home. I never expect to be home to stay unless you should need me or my own health should fail. I hope I may go quickly as Father did and be buried here.—My school bell is ringing—oh it is so hard to do my work and yet I think the worry would kill me if I did not have something to do all the time. I cannot understand why last night’s mail brought me nothing. A Republican dated Sept. 7th—Miss Paine’s mother’s letter dated the 10th. I’ve had nothing from you later than Aug. 28th just after the funeral. It worries me so. Are you sick or what can the matter be? I must wait now five days till another steamer comes in and unless it brings a stray letter it will have no mail for it leaves Japan before the next regular steamer is in from San Francisco.

Afternoon. Our new missionary a young man from Pyeng Yang, came to Seoul this morning. Mr. Morris,¹² an Irishman, but a naturalized American. He stopped off at Ireland on his way around as I came,¹³ to see his people whom he had not seen for twelve years. Mrs. Cowen¹⁴ writes me Mame Hillman will probably be sent out this fall.¹⁵ The two young ladies from New York Branch are being held because they think missionaries from China will come to us but their hearts are in China and they don’t care to transfer unless there is no hope of going back, and we don’t care to have them just for a little unless they care to come and cast their lot among us for good. The roof timbers are going on the house and it sounds encouraging yet there seems too much work yet to be done before the plastering can be done and the house must be plastered before the cold weather sets in, or it will freeze and crack.

Page 183 →We are having a long drain fixed from the back of the house to the front to carry off the kitchen slops and the rain from the spouts. If we could only have glazed tile like we have at home but we have to make them of stone bottom, sides & top, and it costs an awful lot of money but it is very necessary to have our ground property drained with as many people on the place. They say the next improvement will be city water works. The city has electric lights now but we can’t afford to have them put in we find.¹⁶ Seoul would be greatly improved if we had some system of drainage to carry off the filth. It is the filth which makes it unhealthy here, not the climate.

I am enclosing for you two handkerchiefs which were given me, I do not intend to go into mourning out here for several reasons. I hope you will not go into the deepest, it is so gloomy and neither helps the living or the dead. I’ll put one in this letter & one in the next. How I long to be with you till I could help you. It is like beginning life over again almost to be without father—I am sure you know how anxiously I await your letters telling me all about your selves. Have Georgia write me often too. I sent one letter with $50.00 and one with $30.00 a few days later. Will send more as soon as I hear what your immediate needs are—You will have to be patient with me—my salary comes quarterly and I can better tell at the end of the quarter what I can send. I have some heavy bills coming in this month when they are over then I’ll know what I can do—but you too must have winter fuel—Buy it, if you haven’t. The money will come. How I do thank God for health & strength and a position such that I can do something for you. I do love you so dearly—I am sure you know it.

I have nothing more to say till I can hear from you again. I do hope I may not have to wait long.

With love to Georgia

Your loving daughter,

Lulu E. Frey—

Dear Mother:

This is Georgia’s birthday I see as I write the date—I wish I could see her on her 18th birthday. I so long to be with you these first lonely days. Yes, the time seems long to me too. Two weeks only since the word of father’s death reached me and I feel as if I had been fatherless for years. We will miss Father but little Page 184 →by little the pain will grow less—we do not like to admit it, but it is so. Not because we love the lost one any less. Emerson¹⁷ in his essay “Spiritual Laws” explains it very beautifully. He says, “Behind us, as we go, all things assume pleasing forms, as clouds do far off.” I can’t quote it all. Then he says, “For it is only the finite that has wrought and suffered: the infinite lies stretched in smiling repose.” It is only the flesh which grieves at our loss; our spirits rejoice with Father that his journey is over and he is safe in the Home he talked and sung about so much.

I have such a beautiful little poem I copied a few months ago. I think you will like it for you sacrifice and have all your life and scarcely know it. I’ll copy it on a separate piece of paper.

Yesterday the long looked for mail—(just two weeks, but it seemed the next letters would never come—) arrived, and I was so comforted. It is so hard for me to be patient. I want to be with you and help you but I know you and Georgia will plan everything all right. I do wish we could afford to cut a door from Father’s room into the pantry—with the cellar door and the door from his room on to the side porch you could get along very nicely without a back door but I do hope you will not give the renters the pantry for they have the cupboard in the dining room & the sink in the kitchen with the place below—You & Georgia must have the pantry. If you have given it to them it will be hard to get it for yourself now. I’ll see that the door is paid for in time. I hope you will give me an idea of what things cost you. Now you say the big bills are the funeral expenses.—I haven’t the faintest idea what they come to. I should guess $125 to $150. The coal bills of last year & this—this I guess at $20 each making $40.00. Then the taxes—something like $50.00 and the monthly loan $11.00—total at a guess about $250. I wish you had told me what these bills are that are staring you in the face. I wish I could send you the full amount now but I can’t. I did send two checks one for $50.00 and one for $30.00 which will help you out some way. Mother, dear, I am not selfish with what I have. All I have is yours as long as you live. I’m only distressed that I can do so little—but I feel sure with the house’s help, Georgia, yours & mine, some day we will be so we can be somewhat care-free.

Only one sentence in your letter hurt me. It was all so sweet but that—“I feel for you and do not wish you to be deprived of your money.” Did my letter sound so—I did not mean it to for I love you too much to be so selfish as that. All I want is that you tell me what you need and how far what I send goes toward that. You do not say but I take it for granted the $100 paid your bank debt. If you needed it for living expenses all right. I was glad when you said you Page 185 →did not know what you would have done last winter if it had not been for the $50.00 in the loan. I was glad you had it to use. I only want to know how my money helps you. Is it unreasonable and does it hurt you that I ask it? If I send you some for one thing and you have to use it for another it is all right, only tell me so and then I can plan again. How I wish we could have a day to talk things over, one can never do it satisfactorily on paper.

Georgia’s letter was so good. She told me all about everything so well. Now all that you haven’t told me was what you did when you realized he was really dead. Whom did you call to help you and what did you do first? How terrible it must have been for you! I could not keep the tears back when I read that the ladies of the Miss[ionary] Soc. sent a floral offering—that was for my sake—of course. How thoughtful everyone was! I wish I could express my gratitude to them. How nice of Ida Cowman to come and help you and Georgia’s girls too.

So glad Mr. Colton recovered. I was afraid you were going to say he too had gone. I seem to hold my breath expecting something in every letter. Aunt Anna’s letter was so nice—of course I read yours first. This last mail brought me Georgia’s letter and yours enclosed of the 16th of Sept. and two other letters of earlier dates.

Miss Paine and I have been busy yesterday and today with China-men getting our new school desks set up. I ordered them from New York through our board, and bought the Piqua, C desk.¹⁸ We are pleased with it, but alas out of fifty we have but 31 we can use. Miserably packed. Think of cast iron packed in straw! I intend to write a letter—whether we can get any redress or not I do not know.

Friday

Esther got off for Pyeng Yang this morning. Miss Glenk¹⁹ leaves for Japan tomorrow, hoping to get back to Fouchow. The trouble in China is by no means at an end. Everything seems quiet here. In the country they say there is quite a little resentment against the foreigners.

There was a big fire inside the palace walls early last Sunday. The little temple containing the pictures & spirits of the kings & queens for several hundred years, burned—Just how no one knows. Our Christians very unguardedly said the fire came down from heaven—I feared if it reached the ears of the King we might be blamed for it—but everything is quiet and soldiers & others inside the palace, suspected, have been seized. Always something to keep life from being monotonous, here.

Page 186 →We had no school today for we are waiting to get the stoves set up. Mrs. Hulbert will come and give the girls music. We ought to take our flowers in tomorrow, for it is beginning to get cold. We did have frost one night but we had the flowers covered up. I do wish our house was done so we could put them right in the conservatory. It will be nice when it is done—three arches [drawing of arches] all filled in with glass getting south and east sun—almost all day—

I am glad Georgia stands a chance of a position. She is young yet and a little private study will help her. I read the questions over in the newspaper & I know I could never pass on them. I am out of practice & out of the world almost. I have sent over to Mr. Bunker’s for an order for $60.00. Fifty I send for your Dec. taxes and the balance for the Dec. loans. Unless in another letter you tell of something very urgent I do not think I can send you anymore this quarter. However if we must borrow, I’d rather borrow here than have you borrow there. If you do though, you will let me know won’t you?

If the order does not come when I’m ready to send this it will come in the next letter—

With love to both—

Yours—

Lulu E. Frey

Will put the poem in my next letter.

Dear Mother:

Mail came in last evening and brought me a letter from Mame Hillman and one from Etta Snay but no home letters. These do well enough for dessert but I want a home letter for the substantial part of the meal. Miss Paine’s mother’s letter was dated Oct. 5th, nine days after your last one was written. Probably you just missed the steamer and two will come on the next steamer. A week will pass quickly if I make up my mind I must wait that long. I shall be so glad when we get caught up—that is when you get my letters, written after father’s death, and I get your answers to them.

I am sure we will be all right soon. Many another family have been left in a worse condition than we have been. Women before us have been left dependent and have shown themselves capable of taking care of themselves. We shall probably make mistakes but we will learn as we go along. Do write me often, Page 187 →all your plans & hopes—and how your plans are turning out. Georgia too—her last letter was so very interestingly written.

The Republicans are next to my home letters. They are very welcome. Have you subscribed for it again for me or does Mr. Campbell send it of his own accord? If you pay for it, it is not necessary to acknowledge to him—if not I ought to write him. You have said nothing about them.

The sound of hammer & nails continues, but I fear we will not be in by Christmas. It is hard to get coolies and the sleepers for the lower floor are not here. We so hoped to get into the dining room and kitchen before winter for it is so inconvenient to run outdoors at meal times. O[h], the work we have to do on the place as soon as the building is done. We have to put up a new wall & gate houses on the street.—We have torn down our row of outhouses up by the house to give the children more play room, and will rebuild them down below. The position of the new house necessitates the changing of the path & the 3 flights of stone steps on the terraces—but some day we expect to look very fine. We have sent to America for trees and shrubs and many flower seeds so as to make a garden of Eden if we can. Our place used to be very pretty before we began to build four years ago, but so many workmen and timbers & bricks around, have killed most everything.

This is our “Kimtchie” making season, so the children are all busy getting ready for their winter’s eating. We always have a small hospital after it is over for they do all the work out doors in this raw November weather, having their hands in cold water all the time & necessarily get wet from top to toe. I had planned to go over to see Miss Pierce²⁰ this morning but it is so damp after the rain of last night; and as it is cloudy today the sun has no chance to dry things up, I fear wheeling will not be very good. When the sun does come out things dry very quickly on account of the intense heat from the sun. I wonder why it is different from home when the thermometer runs about the same. In summer the heat is almost unendurable when the thermometer stands only at 85 degrees while at home I would not mind 95 degrees any more.

How I wish I could see you this morning. How soon will the air ships be done which will take us back & forth at a rapid rate?

This is the time of year (Kimtchie vacation) when Miss P. and I get our letters written, but this year it does seem quite impossible to get at them, so many other things take our time. I’m sure our friends would excuse us if they could see what we have to do every day; and when night comes a little reading is all we are fit for.

Page 188 →Since Father’s death I have been so absorbed in planning for you and Georgia in my letters that I haven’t told you much of what I am doing here. Have I told you of our baby? Grace²¹ was married when I was home and is our mainstay as teacher in the school. She has a dear baby we had named Dorothy. We think she is about as sweet as can be made. She comes every day and sleeps in the girls’ dining room and her mother feeds her at recess etc.

On Sundays Miss Paine and I take turns going to services for it is too hard to go to all of them. So we take turns in taking care of Dorothy. We never would have believed a year ago we could be so absorbed in a baby.

Thursday morning. Nov. 8th.

Miss Paine has gone to Chemulpo to get a box from Japan. We sent over for some cups and saucers. You do not know how hard it is to keep dishes here. The servants are so careless. We are tempted to dock them sometimes but their wages are so pitifully small compared to ours we can’t do it. To pay for a foreign dish would take a big slice out of their wages. We were having company a few days ago and Miss Paine came over in despair. Not enough glasses alike. Not enough soup plates to go around even of two kinds knives & forks too few. I gave her my knives of grandmother’s and she got out her solid silver forks & spoons she keeps put away and we made the dishes do but it is discouraging. We will have to start in with an entire new set I imagine when we get in our new house. We must make what we have do for the present. The servants are having prayer, then there is the giving out of the wood.—We count our wood by the sticks when we buy it. Split wood comes at about $0.40 per hundred sticks, it is brought to us in bundles of about 100 sticks on the back of ponies. We must count it when it is put away and then every morning we count out that we use for the day in the school and in our house. So while I am waiting for one of the men to do this I am writing you a little.

Last night the news of McKinley’s election reached us. Dr. Allen sent around a circular on the envelope of which he had written “A full dinner pail for four years more.”²² We have been anxious about the election even at this distance. It would make a big difference in our salaries if Bryan²³ was elected and we would lose Dr. Allen—but besides this I could not see but what a change in Administration just now would give us such a shock that no telling what would happen, and it seems enough wise men were left in America to see it. So Will is a Democrat—I had forgotten that.

We sent for a small order from Sears Roebuck and Co. of Chicago. I ordered a fur cowl—Baltic seal trimmed down the front & collar with Siberia marten Page 189 →price $19.75. It was billed according to order but when I opened the box, behold it was an astrachan fur cape and I am just sick over it. It is long and full and quite good looking but if I had wanted an astrachan cape I would have sent for one. I felt so disappointed—What can I do about it at this distance? When one pays that much money & the freight & duty which will make it about $30.00 gold one wants what his mind was made up for. I shall ask them how they can rectify such a mistake for they claim to rectify mistakes they make. Day after tomorrow the mail goes so I’ll write more later.

Friday a.m.

This is one of my days off, so I am lying down trying to be as comfortable as possible and reading. I went out on my wheel yesterday did quite a few bits of business. Miss Paine has gone to have a Jap. dentist fill one of her teeth. I saved one my last year by doing that then I had it properly filled when I went home.

I do so hope tomorrow’s steamer may bring me a home letter. I know you know just how anxious I am about you and how much I want to know all about you. Even the little details of your life are interesting.—How hard to realize father is really gone. I have your picture and his on my desk in a pretty double lacquer picture frame. I like his very much but yours always looked so sad to me and now it looks doubly worse to my eyes. They have been together on my desk ever since yours came, before that I had father’s & Grant’s together. Well my paper is filled so I’ll close.

With unlimited love to both—

Yours—Lulu.